


Sanders Sides React

by curiouscorvid (prometheanTactician)



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Deceit's name is Dolus, M/M, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Youtube AU, Youtuber AU, completely self indulgent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-10 11:42:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19905148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prometheanTactician/pseuds/curiouscorvid
Summary: So, do you remember that episode of Sanders Sides where Roman spouts off a bunch of ideas for YouTube videos, all of which have already been done? And there's like a five-second scene where they react to a short clip of people sharing yogurt? And it was just a short joke that was never mentioned again? Yeah, I decided to make a whole goddamn AU based on it.Basically, I binge-watched all of Sanders Sides and all of YouTubers React back to back. This is the result. I re-wrote the episodes of YTR with the Sides instead of the actual YouTubers.





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> I did this for fun and it ended up being one of the most difficult writing exercises I've ever done. So, if you like it, please let me know so I will feel like I did not waste my time on this nonsense.
> 
> Then maybe I'll do more instead of writing the actual novel-esque series I still have to update.

**Patton**

**Username:** ThatDad24

**Alias’:** Fans often just call him ‘dad’ rather than Patton, especially younger ones. He only revealed his name after some people expressed discomfort with calling him that.

**Main Channel Content:** Playing with paint and goo and stuff (ASMR but he never calls it that,) extremely pure content. When he started blowing up he began doing videos where he’d take questions from fans asking for advice and address them in lil Q&A's. It was something he'd been spending so much time doing on Twitter that he just made it a series. He also releases short videos that are just him speaking to the camera, telling whoever is watching how proud he is of them and how great they're doing.

**Ongoing Solo Series:** Playing with Paint! Making Slime! Fatherly Advice ♥ Affectionate Affirmation ♥♥♥♥

**Fanbase Name:** Kiddos. They're known for being a very wholesome and welcoming, helpful community.

**Side Channels:** Vlog channel that is mostly day to day stuff, his and Logan’s dogs, talking about their garden and plants, showing off the cool things Virgil has done like a proud parent, going out places with Roman, just having a good time. Wholesome content.

**Logan**

**Username:** Analogancal

**Alias’:** Analog was what he was commonly referred to and known as before he explained his username included his name, Logan. Even afterwards the nickname kind of stuck. People also call him Lo, and after he and Patton went public some people started calling him mom exclusively when talking about the vlogs. There’s discourse about that though. Some flamers call him "Anal." He ignores them very stubbornly and has literally never acknowledged that it exists.

**Main Channel Content:** Videos analyzing themes and pointing out inconsistencies in TV shows, movies, and comic books. He eventually branches out and starts a “Logan Explains” channel where he explains interesting scientific phenomenon that he’s been reading about that week.

**Ongoing Solo Series:** An Analysis Of _____, Nothing is Perfect: _____ (inconsistencies), Logan Explains

**Fanbase Name:** Analysers. At first there was a lot of really stuck up people thinking they're smarter and better than everyone else, thinking they're the Superior Fanbase, but once Logan and Patton started dating and their fanbases kind of blended things became a lot nicer in the community. Old School Fans still remember the Dark Days though.

**Side Channels:** Logan Explains eventually becomes so popular that he has to put it on its own channel. Patton's Vlog Channel is technically shared between the two of them.

**Virgil**

**Username:** BeAfraidBeVeryAfraid

**Alias’:** People referred to him just as Afraid or Be Afraid for years before he finally gave in and revealed his name.

**Main Channel Content:** Conspiracy theories, cryptids, creepy phenomenon… Think the “Lore” podcast but they’re videos. (yes I know Lore has a show but I haven’t watched it) He refused to talk about so many topics relating to mental illness for so long until eventually, he released a video explaining that he hated the way myths and stories and horror content demonized mental illness. He then launched a side-channel focusing on those stories, but instead of the “creep factor” that his main channel focuses on, he dismantles everything that’s messed up about it.

**Ongoing Solo Series:** Conspiracy Corner, The Cryptid Cave, Scary Stories, Mental Illness Isn’t Scary.

**Fanbase Name:** Cryptids. At first it was mainly pre-teens and edgy kids but they kinda... grew up with the content? And because Virgil addressed so many problematic tropes within horror and legends, the community around his stuff became pretty aware of the problems with certain content. The result was a pretty understanding and well-rounded fanbase.

**Side Channels:** He started a side channel for the discussions on mental illness to keep it apart from his scary stories and creepy content. He didn’t want them to be mixed up. This channel is called OnTheVirgeofMadness.

**Roman**

**Username:** YourPrinceIsHere

**Alias’:** Before he revealed his name he was known as Prince, or Princey, to fans and other YouTubers

**Main Channel Content:** Originally he was just a dumb kid posting “Epic Fail Compilations.” Eventually, though, he posted a video of one of his performances. It gained massive traction. He then posted a rehearsal for his improv group, and people liked that too. He finally decided to take a chance and wrote a small sketch, performing it himself with the help of one or two friends, and his channel began to get more popular. Eventually one of his sketches went viral, and his channel has been mainly acting ever since.

**Ongoing Solo Series:** Each Sketch is standalone, but there’s a few ongoing series without specific names. One follows the adventures of a disney-esque prince in every day modern situations. Another is “What Should’ve Happened in [insert fairytale].

**Fanbase Name:** Royals. They're a little bit pretentious but ultimately well-meaning. After he and Virgil start dating there's more overlap, but honestly the two fandoms don't get along all that much. New fans are very confused by the way the communities clash.

**Side Channels:** He has a side channel for his music. Most often he covers Disney songs or popular music, but he often writes his own stuff as well. He also has a vlog channel that is mainly him and Virgil, but often features Deceit hanging out with them, and he and Remus occasionally go out and have Adventures. The "adventures" are mainly Roman trying to stop Remus from breaking the law.

**Deceit**

**Username:** DecadentDeceit

**Alias’:** Deceit is what he’s mainly known as in the community, but he also becomes known as Dee or DeeDee once Remus starts calling him that on camera. Remus also calls him Do, which fans enjoy and adopt especially when they're in videos together, as it's cute to call them Do and Re.

**Main Channel Content:** He covers schemes and frauds from throughout history. The greatest liars ever, both the most well known and the ones lost to history. He also does little “bonus videos” where he tells a story from his life littered with lies and people must guess what the lies are in the story. There’s a pause after the story, then at the end, he reveals what was untrue… but he never says what the truth actually was. Fans speculated on that so much and so wildly that he also started doing videos where he read out their theories and reacted to them.

**Ongoing Solo Series:** Liars of History, Liars of Today, Lie Detector

**Fanbase Name:** Skeptics. They tend to be a bit like the Sherlock fandom at first, thinking they're much better at picking up on things than they actually are. After a while though they kinda grow out of that, especially since he so often pulls one over on them.

**Side Channels:** He has a side channel about his snakes whomst he loves. They are a two-headed albino milk snake named Ponzi and Scheme.

**Remus**

**Username:** TheDukeofNothing

**Alias’:** The Duke, but he gave out his name pretty early on.

**Main Channel Content:** Unlike Roman, he was doing original content from the beginning. It started with sketches that he acted out himself but quickly he found that his ideas were more easily done in… other ways. His content is very similar to things like Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared or FilmCow (Llama’s With Hats.) Just cute styles of cartoon with extremely dark themes.

**Ongoing Solo Series:** There is no rhyme or reason to anything he does. He just does it.

**Fanbase Name:** Someone made a critical video that went viral referring to his content as “a burning trash fire” and his fans as “rats trying to find scraps as it all burns.” His fans embraced it and are now known as Rats. They are proud of that comparison. That's all you need to know.

**Side Channels:** He has a vlog channel. It’s the most sporadic thing ever.

**Collabs**

**The Unexplained**

Virgil and Logan started talking more after Patton introduced them, and one of the topics they often discussed was recorded events that seemed to have no known scientific explanation or events that were extreme scientific anomalies. Eventually, they decided to collab and make some videos about those events, bringing both of their expertise to the table. It blew up so they started a side channel for it and it’s now a series.

**Baking Buddies**

When Virgil goes over to Patton and Logan’s place to film The Unexplained, Roman tends to tag along. During a long filming session, Patton and Roman got bored and decided to do some baking. On a whim, they filmed it. People loved it. Now Patton and Roman have a channel where they bake, and it tends to update in tandem with The Unexplained as it is usually filmed at the same time. If Logan and Virgil finish early they get to guest star. Either way, they always get treats at the end.

**Dismantling Disney**

Logan and Roman poke at Disney movies and shows, Roman showing his appreciation and Logan showing the flaws of it. It usually turns into a debate and fans love it. They don’t do it often enough for it to warrant its own channel.

**Voice Acting**

Deceit very often does voices for Remus’ animations. The others do some as well but refuse to voice anything too heinous and so it happens less often.

**Roman’s Sketches**

Pretty much everyone ends up in his sketches at some point or another.

**Liar, Liar**

Deceit and Logan have a small series where Logan tries to tell when Deceit is and is not lying, based on body language and verbal cues. The content is posted to Deceit’s channel.

**Life with Remus**

Started when Deceit began filming any time Remus did something particularly absurd in everyday life. He made a compilation of it and posted it. After he did this a few times, the others began as well There's a huge playlist of these videos.


	2. YouTubers React to Celebrity Clapbacks 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L790tqvIx_o&list=PLwnD0jwK0yylBWRI6KpihIfL7vL4vCz3M&index=4&t=0s

FBE: So we have done this once in the past with our YouTubers, so today, you’ll be reacting to some of the most vicious celebrity clapbacks on social media.

**[Title Card: Roman Monarch (youtube.com/YourPrinceIsHere) and Virgil Mason (youtube.com/BeAfraidBeVeryAfraid). Roman is sitting up straight but Virgil is slouched back and turning the seat back and forth]**

Roman, rubbing his hands together: Oh I love it when celebs get sassy!

Virgil: I don’t really care much about celebrities… But I do like seeing scrubs get rekt.

**[Cut to Deceit]**

**[Title Card: Dolus Anderson (youtube.com/DecadentDeceit)]**

Deceit, sighing dramatically: Oh dear, this will be just awful. You know I hate a good clapback.

**[Cut to Logan and Patton]**

FBE: And what is a clapback?

**[Title Card: Logan Berry (youtube.com/Analogancal) and Patton Foster (youtube.com/ThatDad24). Logan pulls cue cards out of his pocket and sifts through them.]**

Logan: A… Clap back?

Patton: Oh, is that where people get all mean to each other on the twitter? I hate to see that…

Logan, finding the card: Clapback is a noun that derives from an earlier verb, clap back, which refers to the same thing: responding to criticism with a withering comeback. The term ultimately derives from a 2003 song by Ja Rule, appropriately titled “Clap Back.”

Patton: Can’t everyone just be nice?

FBE: Are you ready to do this?

**[cut to Deceit]**

Deceit: Absolutely not.

**[Cut to Roman and Virgil]**

FBE: So we’re doing this on the heels of a series of viral clapbacks that were kicked off by comments from ABC morning talk show host Kelly Ripa, who shared her opinion on the popular reality show franchise, the Bachelor and Bachelorette. So here is a clip of that. 

(https://www.youtube.com/redirect?q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.usmagazine.com%2Fentertainment%2Fnews%2Fkelly-ripa-the-bachelorette-disgusts-me-on-live-with-kelly-and-ryan%2Famp%2F&event=video_description&v=L790tqvIx_o&redir_token=n_zRUB1zQ0SadORMP_-t_NGwQmd8MTU2MzA3Mjc5NEAxNTYyOTg2Mzk0)

Roman: Ugh, horrible show.

Virgil: You’ve seen every episode.

Roman: I know, I love it!

**[Cut to Logan and Patton]**

Patton: ...Well, I’ve never seen the Bachelor, but it doesn’t sound very uh…

Logan: Progressive.

Patton: Roman loves it though, I thought it was a show about romance?

**[Cut to Deceit]**

Deceit: What, treating a man as the ultimate prize a woman could attain? I see nothing wrong with that at all. Seems perfectly acceptable in this day and age.

**[He looks at the camera]**

Deceit: That was a lie if you were wondering.

**[Cut to Roman and Virgil]**

Virgil: This is literally exactly what I keep telling you.

Roman: But the drama! The romance!

**[Cut to Logan and Patton]**

FBE: So, the host of the show, Chris Harrison, and the creator of the franchise, Mike Fleiss, replied with the following tweets.

**[Logan adjusts his glasses and leans forward, squinting at the screen. Patton just plays with the sleeves of his sweater as he listens.]**

Logan: “Look out ‘poundsign-’” Oh, sorry, “Hashtag Bachelor Nation. Kelly Ripa is coming after you and your ‘disgusting’ Monday night habit.”

**[Cut to Roman and Virgil]**

Virgil, scoffing: Yeah real cool man, send you rabid fanbase after someone cause they don’t like your shitty show.

Roman, cringing: Not a good look.

**[Cut to Deceit]**

Deceit: How classy. Riling up your fans to attack someone. Wonderful. Love to see that.

**[Reading the reply]**

Deceit: “Easy Kelly Ripa, The Bachelor franchise pays your salary.”

Deceit: … And somehow it got worse!

**[Cut to Logan and Patton]**

FBE: So then, Ellen Pompeo, star of Grey’s Anatomy, also on ABC went to defend Ripa with this tweet.

Logan: So this is all infighting within the network.

Patton: Oh, I love Grey’s Anatomy. I’d watch it more if it didn’t make me cry so hard.

Logan: I much prefer the book.

Patton: There’s a book?

Logan: The title from the show was derived from the famous anatomical reference text called Gray’s Anatomy, spelled differently from the show. Actually, Gray didn’t do much of the work on it, but since he had seniority-

**[Cut to Deceit]**

Deceit: “Okay @fleissmeister, that’s some handle, bro.” Ugh, don’t call him bro. “Your show does NOT pay @KellyRipa salary.”

**[Cut to Roman and Virgil]**

Virgil: “Also we don’t attack successful women on our network and men certainly cannot take credit for their success. Don’t even get me started on your show cuz I’m a-”

**[Virgil stifles a laugh]**

Virgil: “Cause I’m a savage. #backelorsoooowhite.” I mean… Yeah.

Roman, sighing in resignation: ...Yeah, yeah it is…

**[Cut to Deceit]**

Deceit: Okay, can I just- In this, the year of our Lord 2019, can we please stop pretending that women owe us a goddamn thing? Literally, just stop acting like they only got what they have because of us. It’s all been in spite of us, and THAT is the goddamn-

**[The TRUTH graphic and sound effect FBE often uses falls over the clip]**

**[Cut to Logan and Patton]**

Logan: A succinct and adequate response.

Patton, quietly concerned: I’m gonna have to talk to Roman about him watching this show…

**[Cut to Deceit]**

FBE: Here’s the next one, which comes from Halsey.

Deceit: I hate Halsey. **[pause]** That’s a lie, I would literally die for her. I love Halsey.

**[Cut to Roman and Virgil]**

Roman, reading: “So, is Halsey pregnant or not?” Rude!

Virgil: Y I K E S

Roman: “I mean, you’re about to be if you keep riding my [bleep] like this-” **[devolves into giggles, Virgil snickering as well.]**

**[Cut to Logan and Patton]**

Patton: Sweet Jiminy Christmas!

Logan: Vulgar… but deserved. Is that the essence of a clapback?

Patton: Isn’t it just common sense not to ask someone if they’re pregnant?

**[Cut to Deceit]**

Deceit: THIS is the perfect example of a clapback. Quick, sharp, to the point, brutal as hell. 

**[Cut to Logan and Patton]**

Patton, reading: “All that money, and the baby shower looks like a bucket of corn” ...A bucket of corn? Why would it be in a bucket?

Logan: Is it an insult?

Patton: Corn is so good though…

Logan: Cardi B responds with the grammatically incorrect “It was beautiful and we was happy. Your mom waited a whole 9 months for you to be ugly and a bucket of disappointment.”

Patton: Oh dang! That was good…

Logan: You approve?

Patton: He called her baby shower names :c

**[Cut to Roman and Virgil]**

Roman: A bit wordy.

Virgil: Why is he complaining about other peoples baby showers anyway? **[scoff]** It’s not like he was invited.

FBE: This next one is Chance the Rapper who took the time to roast Parks and Recreation star Chris Pratt and Rob Lowe.

Roman and Virgil, in tandem: I love Parks and Rec!

**[Cut to Logan and Patton]**

Patton, bouncing excitedly: Oh, I love that show!

Logan: It is acceptable.

Patton: I’ve watched it fifteen times!

Logan, tiredly: Fifteen and a half.

**[Cut to Deceit]**

Deceit, grinning: Never seen it.

**[The picture in question pops up, with the roast]**

Deceit, reading: “This looks like the first pics on everyones instas from 2012 #filter”

Deceit, looking at the camera: Take if from me, kids: Just because it’s true does not mean you have to say it.

**[Cut to Roman and Virgil]**

Roman: It does look really bad…

Virgil: I would never post a pic of myself looking like that…

Roman: You never post pictures of yourself anyway.

Virgil: Well yeah, but especially not like THAT.

**[Cut to Logan and Patton]**

Patton, flailing a little: They’re having a good time! Leave them alone!

**[Cut back to Roman and Virgil, Oprah’s clapback comes up next.]**

Roman, nearly jumping out of his seat and startling Virgil: Oprah?! Oprah got in on this?!

Virgil, calming himself down: Jesus Christ, dude.

**[Cut back to Logan and Patton]**

Patton: “I don’t know who this guy is but he sure is happy to graduate! I shook hands with all 571 members of @coloradovollege’s Class of 2019 and gave them a copy of The Path Made Clear.”

Patton: Well, good for them!

Logan: Quite the achievement.

**[Cut to Deceit]**

Deceit: “Should’ve paid off their student debt, Oprah!” Ah yes, as everyone knows, the best way to handle your finances is to dish out billions of dollars at a time.

Deceit, glancing to the camera: Not that she couldn’t afford it.

Deceit, looking back to the screen: Oh! “Already paid 13 million in scholarships. Have put over 400 men thru.” ... Just men? 

**[Cut to Logan and Patton]**

Logan: An argument made up purely of facts. Exquisite.

Patton: It’s so nice of her to help people out like that!

Logan: It is supremely satisfying to see a rebuttal made up purely of unemotional fact. No sentiment, no nonsense, just the truth.

**[Cut to Roman and Virgil]**

Roman, punching the air: You tell em Oprah!

Virgil: 13 million is a drop in the bucket of what she has. I still think we should just eat the rich and be done with it.

Roman: Except for Oprah.

**[Virgil just shrugs.]**

**[Cut to Deceit]**

Deceit: It looks like the Rock posted about the new Jumanji sequel, and someone responded: “Oh dear, I wonder if it’ll be the second worst film ever made?”

Deceit: Clever, clever. Implying that the first was the worst movie ever made. But that’s a lie, Virgil and I went to see it, and it was… mediocre. Not the worst.

**[Cut to Roman and Virgil]**

Roman, reading: “Haha, I have a fun idea - how bout you watch it with us and tell us your thoughts. Then we listen to your music and we’ll tell you ours. You know, face to face like real men do instead of yapping on Twitter.”

**[Virgil gives a low whistle]**

Roman: The Rock is not someone I would want to talk shit about.

Virgil: Talk shit get hit, scrubs.

**[Cut to Logan and Patton]**

Patton: I thought Jumanji was a wonderful movie!

Logan: Certainly it wasn’t the worst movie ever.

Patton: It was even better, though, since I watched it with you~♥

Logan: ….Ah. Sentiment.

**[Cut to Deceit]**

Deceit: People will say whatever the hell they want behind a screen, but pull up face to face and generally they’re little bitches. I’ve received a ridiculous amount of hate in my time, and let me tell you, very rarely will people be willing to back up what they say once they meet you in person.

**[Cut to Logan and Patton]**

Logan, reading: Denise McAllister says “Can someone explain to me the purpose of The View? It seems to me to be a roundtable of delusional mental midgets ricocheting ignorance and lack of emotional regulation.” Hm. I can’t say I disagree, but that’s… harsh.

Patton: And Meghan McCain, who I’m… assuming is on the View?

**[Patton looks to the people behind the camera for confirmation and receives it.]**

Patton: Meghan McCain says… “You were at my wedding, Denise.”

**[Patton gasps, scandalized]**

Patton: Denise, that is a sacred bond! You were at her wedding!

**[Logan pats his knee in comfort]**

**[Cut to Roman and Virgil]**

Virgil: That’s cold, Denise.

Roman: I love parties as much as the next guy but very rarely will I be willing to sit through a whole wedding for someone if I’m also willing to turn around and say something like this about them. I mean ‘mental midgets,’ really? Is that word even allowed any more?

Virgil, still re-reading the interaction: Jesus… Great clapback though.

Roman: We are _not_ inviting Denise to our wedding.

Virgil: ...We're getting married?

**[Cut to Deceit. He’s just...doubled over, laughing. He says nothing, just cackles for a spell and then sits up with a gasp for air.]**

Deceit, breathlessly: Oh… Oh, that’s beautiful. Straight people are so fucking funny.

FBE: One last tweet from Chrissy Teagan.

**[Cut to Logan and Patton]**

Logan, looking to Patton: Are we supposed to know any of these people?

Patton, shrugging and shaking his head: I… don’t know any of these people. Except Oprah. And Grey’s Anatomy.

Logan: ….You do realize that her name is not actually Grey’s Anatomy, yes?

**[Pause]**

Patton, softly: ...What?

**[Cut to Roman and Virgil]**

Roman, clapping in time with his words: Yas Chrissy! [Bleep!] Them! Up!

Virgil: Dude, you can’t [bleep]ing swear like that on a React video!

**[Cut to Deceit]**

Deceit, reading: “I’m asking this with the utmost respectful-” Which essentially means ‘kiss my ass I’ll say whatever the hell I want,’ but okay.

**[Cut to Roman and Virgil]**

Virgil: “But is @ChrissyTeigan pregnant again?” What is it with these people and asking about pregnancy?

Roman: “I just had a baby but thank you for being soooo respectful.” … Now, I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t think she thinks they were respectful at all.

**[Cut to Logan and Patton]**

Logan: The question and the grammar are both indicative of a less than pleasant personality.

Patton: Why do they think it’s any of their business if she’s pregnant or not?

**[Cut to Roman and Virgil]**

FBE: So, it is widely known that putting your life on social media lends itself to being subjected to the opinions of others, good or bad. So knowing this, do you think it still makes it okay for others to criticize online simply because they can?

Virgil: I mean… Whether it’s okay or not, they’ll do it anyway.

Roman: I think people are entitled to their opinion and their way of expressing it, but that doesn’t mean anyone else has to listen to them or give them the time of day.

Virgil: Sure but uh... you still do, Princey.

Roman: I just need everyone to like me all the time, is that too much to ask!?

**[Cut to Logan and Patton]**

Patton: Online or not, I don’t think it means you can just… be rude. If you wouldn’t say it to someone's face then you shouldn’t say it online! That’s still a person on the other end, still with feelings, and those feelings could get hurt!

Logan: The effects of anonymity on human behaviour is actually fascinating. They keep doing studies about the difference between online behaviour and real-life interactions, and it really is something to see what people think they can get away with when they have a mask to hide behind.

**[Cut to Deceit]**

Deceit: I mean I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: Just because something is true doesn’t mean you have to say it. And just because you have an opinion doesn’t mean you need to voice it. Some things aren’t any of your damn business. If it isn’t hurting anyone then just shut up about it. Stay in your lane.

**[Cut to Logan and Patton]**

FBE: So we asked this question last time we covered this topic and I’m curious to know what type of comments have you received from people online and have you ever clapped back?

Patton: I um… I mean, I’m pretty sensitive about that kinda thing. My fans are usually really nice, but I still get Logan to take a look first and get rid of anything really nasty.

Logan: I leave in genuine critique, but anything with malicious intent I simply do away with. It isn’t worth our time and energy. I have no interest in engaging with anyone who has said something thoughtlessly cruel enough to warrant a ‘clap back’

**[Cut to Deceit]**

Deceit: No one likes a liar. I get a lot of hate. If I took the time to respond to everyone who harassed me online I’d never get anything done… I do tend to snap at people when they attack Remus, though. Especially regarding our relationship, sometimes I just can’t help but to take them down a peg. I don’t know why I bother though, it’s not like he cares.

**[Cut to Roman and Virgil]**

Virgil: Yeah we’re bad for it, uh…

Roman: Between the two of us, we have a hard time just… letting things go. I always want justice when I feel we’ve been wronged-

Virgil: Not just us, you jump into things that don’t even involve you.

Roman: I have a really hard time just keeping silent.

Virgil: When I think of something really clever, I have a weakness for just completely shutting assholes down. It’s also hard cause, we both get a lot of younger people following us and, y’know, when you see someone in the comment section being nasty you don’t want the kids to see it and take it to heart.

Roman: Thankfully we don’t get too much hate.

Virgil: I get a decent amount. Not as much as Deceit, but more than the rest of you.

Roman: Which is ridiculous.

Virgil, shrugging: People like to mock the emo kid, what else is new.

**[Cut to Logan and Patton]**

FBE: So, finally, as a content creator what is one piece of advice you can share that you learned about online negativity and hate?

Patton: At the end of the day, it says more about them than it does about you. What sort of person spends their time looking to intentionally hurt others, and is that type of person really someone you want the opinion of in the first place? Just try your best, and there’s nothing else you can do. Don’t let anybody make you feel bad for that. I'm proud of you, kiddos!

Logan: The important thing, I think, is not to let the work suffer as a result. Don’t let yourself overlook genuine criticism, as it can help you to improve, but also don’t dwell on what you can’t change or on people who just want to tear you down. They don’t matter. What matters is your work.

**[Cut to Deceit]**

Deceit: Say the first thing that pops into your head. Open up. Be vulnerable. Show them that they hurt you and that they get to you, type out your emotional reaction and post it for the world to see.

**[He winks at the camera]**

Deceit: But seriously… When they say everybody is a critic… it’s really true. Everyone thinks they’re an expert, that they’re qualified to tell you what to do or what not to do. I get a million comments on every video from people who took one AP Psyche class in highschool trying to diagnose me as a pathological liar and making all these speculations and suggestions as if they’re at all qualified for such a thing. But they’re not. Just because they think what they’re saying is important doesn’t mean it is and doesn’t mean you should treat it as if it is. [Bleep] ‘em.

**[Cut to Roman and Virgil]**

Virgil: Take breaks. If it gets to be too much, there’s no shame in backing away and shutting everything off. Being bombarded by negativity on all sides is super bad for you, and you are under no obligation to put up with that bullshit.

Roman: You can’t let others decide your worth. Only you can do that. If you aren’t confident in your worth, talk to a professional, but never let assholes online make it worse. There will always be someone telling you you can’t do it, or that you’re doing a bad job. But ultimately you make the decision of whether or not to make that true.

**[End]**


	3. Youtube Couples React to 10 Minute Kiss Challenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOZHuFsuh_o&list=PLwnD0jwK0yylBWRI6KpihIfL7vL4vCz3M&index=67&t=0s

FBE: So in honor of Valentine’s day, we have a couples themed challenge.

**[Cut to Patton and Logan]**

**[Title Card: Logan Berry (youtube.com/Analogancal) and Patton Foster (youtube.com/ThatDad24.)]**

Patton: Aw, cute!

Logan: Ah. Not my strong suit.

Patton: What are you talking about, you’re great at these!

**[Logan gives him a withering look]**

Patton: … I’ll do my best for the both of us.

**[Cut to Roman and Virgil]**

**[Title Card: Roman Monarch (youtube.com/YourPrinceIsHere) and Virgil Mason (youtube.com/BeAfraidBeVeryAfraid.)]**

Roman: A challenge! Virgil, we must rise about the rest! We must claim victory!

Virgil: I mean, I guess?

**[Cut to Remus and Deceit]**

**[Title Card: Dolus Anderson (youtube.com/DecadentDeceit) and Remus Monarch (youtube.com/DukeOfNothing)]**

Remus: Oh ho! Is it something [waggles eyebrows] dirty?

Deceit, looking tired: Please say no.

FBE: This is called the “10 Minute Kiss” challenge.

Deceit, horrified: 10 minutes?!

**[Remus is grinning wider than before]**

**[Cut to Roman and Virgil]**

Roman: That’s it? Just… kissing? For ten minutes? Bah! That’s nothing! You can hardly call that a challenge!

Virgil: I might feel a little challenged. You want us to just make out in front of you for ten minutes?

**[Cut to Patton and Logan]**

Patton: Awww, that’s adorable!

Logan: Mouths are so unsanitary...

FBE: So before you start, we have something for you just in case.

**[Producer hands them all some gum]**

Logan: That’s…. Comforting.

**[Cut to Deceit and Remus]**

Deceit: Oh thank god.

**[He starts unwrapping the gum immediately and basically shoves piece after piece into Remus’ mouth. Remus opens his mouth wide and begins chomping the pieces as if he is Pac-Man, making weird 'NAHM NAHM' noises each time.]**

**[Cut to Roman and Virgil]**

Virgil, nervously shoving gum in his mouth: I think this might be the worst thing we’ve ever done on this channel.

Roman: What?!

Virgil: I don’t like kissing in front of people!

Roman: Our love is nothing to be ashamed of!

Virgil: I don’t like PDA!

Roman: Do you want Dolus and Remus to win?

Virgil: …. [pops in another piece of gum] Let’s do it.

**[Cut to Logan and Patton. They’re facing each other, Patton smiling brightly and Logan looking mildly uncomfortable.]**

FBE: Okay, three, two, one… Go!

**[They come together, Patton making an exaggerated ‘mwah!’ sound and squishing Logan’s face gently with his hands]**

**[Cut to Virgil and Roman, Roman very gently hooks his fingers under Virgils chin and tilts his head, kissing him softly. Virgil relaxes a bit, momentarily forgetting where he is.]**

**[Cut to Remus and Deceit. Remus immediately tackles Deceit like he’s trying to eat his face. Everyone else was basically just touching their lips together but Remus is really going for it.]**

**[The timer counts]**

**[Cut to Logan and Patton]**

Logan, against Patton’s lips: We have to stay like this for ten minutes?

Patton: There are worse positions to be in!

Logan: My neck disagrees.

**[Cut to Virgil and Roman]**

Virgil, after a moment of kissing: ...Did I remember to lock the door?

Roman: You checked twice before we left and then made me get out of the car and triple check.

Virgil: The car door.

Roman: I’m sure it’s fine!

**[Cut to Remus and Deceit, Deceit barely managing to stay in his chair as Remus climbs onto him]**

Deceit: Remus, this is-

Remus: Exactly what they asked us to do!

Deceit: They asked us to kiss, not make out like horny teenagers! Get back in your chair!

Remus: Fine, but stay together, I’m not losing to Roman!

**[Cut to Virgil and Roman]**

Virgil: I should go check-

Roman: But then we’ll lose!

**[Virgil sighs harshly]**

Roman: Ew, ew, don’t do that, that went right into my mouth!

**[Virgil glares, then does it again but harder. Roman whines in despair.]**

**[Cut to Logan and Patton]**

**[Patton takes out his phone]**

Logan: ...Are you playing on your phone while we’re kissing?

Patton: I just want to check the dogs' nanny cam!

Logan: Patton the dogs are trained, they’re fine.

Patton: But I miss them!

**[Cut to Virgil and Roman]**

Virgil: Can someone just- reach into my pocket and get my car keys, make sure it’s locked?

Off-Screen: Yeah, one sec.

**[A member of the crew fishes the keys from Virgil’s pocket, leaves, then comes back a moment later and confirms it’s locked]**

Virgil: Thank you.

**[Cut to Deceit and Remus]**

Remus, eyes wide open: Look into my eyes.

Deceit, eyes screwed shut: Nooooo….

Remus, opening his eyes wider: Look into my eeeeyyyeeees!

Deceit, whining and closing his eyes tighter: Nooooooo!

**[They’re both laughing]**

**[Cut to Patton and Logan. Patton is humming a cheerful tune and bobbing his head a little bit to the humming. Logan abides the movement without separating.]**

**[Cut to Virgil and Roman]**

Roman: This is the least romantic kiss we’ve ever shared, and I’m counting that time at Denny’s.

Virgil: Which time at Denny’s? There were many times at Denny’s.

Roman: When it was like, 2am.

Virgil: You're not narrowing it down, dude.

**[Cut to Remus and Deceit]**

Deceit: God, I hate your mustache.

**[Remus wiggles his mustache in response]**

Deceit: Stop that!

**[Remus wiggles his mustache harder, giggling]**

**[Cut to Patton and Logan]**

Logan: -and certain studies believe that kissing was developed by early man as an instinctive attempt to immunize themselves to the same illnesses as their partner to better protect themselves and strengthen the genetic line. Of course, different studies refute this as pure speculation-

**[Cut to Remus and Deceit]**

Deceit: Put that tongue back in your own mouth or so help me GOD I will-

Remus: But your lip chap is so nice!

Deceit: ...Are you…. EATING MY LIPBALM?!

Remus: WAIT, STAY STILL, YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE US LOSE!

Deceit: I DON’T CARE, YOU’RE CONSUMING MY MAKEUP!

Remus: IT’S NOT MY FAULT YOU LOOK LIKE A SNACK!

**[Cut to Roman and Virgil]**

Roman: I wish we were at home. It’s too awkward to do a proper kiss in this situation.

Virgil: I told you so.

Roman: Oh shut up, I just want to win. I think Remus is in this episode. If he wins when I don’t, I will actually drop dead.

**[Virgil scoffs]**

Roman: Stop doing that when our mouths are pressed together!

**[Cut to Logan and Patton]**

Logan: ...Has it been very long yet?

FBE: Justs under five minutes.

Logan, sighing: My neck is so sore.

Patton: But your breath is minty fresh!

**[Cut to Remus and Deceit]**

Deceit: I swear to god if this episode comes out and we were the only fools dumb enough to go along with this-

Remus: You think Roman isn’t dumb enough to try to win a kissing competition with people he’s not even in a room with?

Deceit: ...Good point.

**[Cut to Virgil and Roman. Roman is singing Bella Notte from Lady and the Tramp. Virgil turns his eyes to the camera without moving his head, giving a Look.]**

**[Cut to Patton and Logan]**

Logan: ….I think we’re done.

Patton: What?

Logan: Do we even get anything for winning? We’re making ourselves uncomfortable for no reason.

Patton: Don’t be a spoilsport, Logan.

Logan: There is no sport to spoil. Just us, kissing awkwardly in a studio surrounded by people. This isn’t even really a kiss, it’s just our faces pressed together.

Patton: But they’re pressed together with love~♥

**[Cut to Deceit and Remus]**

Remus: Ugh. This is such a tease.

Deceit: No, you’re just a thirsty bitch.

Remus: Yep!

**[Cut to Roman and Virgil]**

Virgil: Okay, no, I’m done.

Roman: NOOO!

**[Virgil pulls away, wiping his mouth with the back of his hoodie sleeve and making a face. Roman is distraught.]**

**[Cut to Patton and Logan.]**

Logan: If we can just stop now I’ll buy you ice cream on the way home.

Patton, immediately pulling away: Well, that was fun!

Logan, momentarily stunned: ...Incredible.

**[Cut to Deceit and Remus. The timer ticks on.]**

FBE: One minute left, guys.

Deceit: Finally.

**[Jumpcut forward to ten seconds left. The studio is counting down aloud. Just as they get to three seconds… Deceit pulls away. The buzzer goes off, signifying they’ve lost.]**

Remus: WHAT THE [BLEEP]?!

Deceit, smiling: Get rekt.

Remus: THERE WAS ONLY THREE SECONDS LEFT!!!!! NOW I’VE DEFINITELY LOST TO ROMAN!

FBE: Actually, Roman already did this and they tapped out six minutes in.

Remus, throwing his hands in the air and whooping with excitement: HELL YEAH! I WON! GET [BLEEPED] ROMAN! WHO’S THE BETTER TWIN NOW, BITCH?!

Deceit, sighing to the camera: This is every day. He never stops. This isn’t an act. He is genuinely this fucking obnoxious.

**[END]**


End file.
